Navigating non-binary fashion in a binary world

With all the conflicting expectations we have about clothing, it’s easy to confuse your fans, but finding appropriate clothing for a non-binary person challenges those expectations.

Clothing is a barrier between our body and the outside world, protecting us from temperatures and sharp objects.

But they also present our inner selves to others, projecting our inner world outward. Thus, clothing turns us inside out; hiding our bodies and revealing our identities.

Dr. Antimony Deor reveals the complexities of fashion choices for non-binary people

A person’s fashion choices can provide insight into their character, but that character may be fictitious. The right outfit can project the image of a suave professional, a smart pragmatist, or a whimsical creative, no matter how frumpy, quirky, or boring the wearer may actually feel.

Some people use fashion to channel their inner selves, while others prefer to stay dressed as a book.

This can make fashion difficult for non-binary people.

For us, there is often a huge difference between how we look on the outside and how we feel on the inside.

Wardrobes can be a portal to a new magical world or just another place to hide your skeletons.

Taking it off

Despite all the self-consciousness and doubt that comes with being non-binary, and how crippling that anxiety can be, we’re lucky to have clothes we can rely on. It is also illegal to be naked in public, so avoiding fashion can only be done for a limited time.

Just as there is a vague expectation for women to appear feminine and men to appear masculine, there is the idea that non-binary people should also dress in accordance with their gender, or lack thereof.

But what does a non-binary person look like?

In fact, androgyny is really hard to achieve for most people, while the mixed expression of masculine and feminine styles can beat you up in some places. And that’s if you manage to find anything suitable at all!

I’ve always loved clothes, but after I came out as non-binary, I started to think about them.

It was easy to get caught up in what other people might think rather than what was comfortable or made me happy.

Ideally, I wanted my friends to see me as a brighter version of myself, but so that my parents would not notice any changes at all.

I wanted other trans people to be able to recognize me, but for everyone else to think of me as an unremarkable androgynous person. That was asking too much from a pair of pants.

Heart on my sleeve

I was in my mid-30s when I began transitioning into medicine, and I had amassed an impressive wardrobe of 70s pantsuits, pretentious jackets, and branded ops merchandise. But my body changed shape, but my clothes did not.

Before I could see the changes associated with hormone replacement therapy, I could feel them in the way my clothes fit.

Shirts became tighter on the stomach, and pants became looser on the hips. I became more comfortable wearing open collars and pants below the hips.

The increased hemoglobin meant that my pale skin turned pink, changing the color palette to suit my complexion. A faster metabolism and higher body temperature put an end to wearing sleeves between November and March.

After upper body surgery but before the cost of living crisis, I bought tight shirts and mesh tops to show off my beautiful breasts. I’ve never had a problem finding women’s clothing that fits. It was a completely different story when I walked into the men’s section.

The boy’s clothes fit, but the men’s clothes did not. They say the transition is like a second puberty, but I didn’t expect it to be literal.

I tried not to look like a 37-year-old, but it was difficult when Dragonball Z T-shirts were the only thing that fit me.

General topics

Exploring gender through fashion can be a fun opportunity to try out new looks, but it’s also expensive and frustrating.

Like everything else in the world, clothing doesn’t have to be gender specific, but it is.

Even if I had the money to buy a whole new wardrobe, it wouldn’t stop people from making assumptions about my body.

Clothes are designed to fit an idealized male or female figure, but their designs also exaggerate gender differences. Men’s and women’s fashion surrounds us with a square rectangle or curvy hourglass that only roughly matches the unique body underneath.

By becoming a curvy rectangle, I joined a community of people who were too tall, too short, too big, too disabled or too oddly proportioned to fit into mainstream fashion.

In my non-binary shoes

Writing about clothing is like creating a sculpture about poetry.

The outfit makes a statement – hopefully more elegantly than the ones I’ve written here.

I was used to being the crutch of clothes, but in reality, clothes supported me in my gender journey, both as armor and as a mirror to the material reality of being non-binary in this world.